A Sick Feeling

I don't know if it's just the anticipation of all six of us leaving for a family trip in ten hours or what, but I can't sleep and really all I can think about is Jonah. I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that he won't be coming home. I pray with all my heart that this isn't true, but I can't help but think it is. I've sort of been mentally preparing myself for this for a while now, but I just started asking myself a few minutes ago, how are we going to tell the boys? How do you explain to a 7- and 5-year old that there's a child who has no family and that this child, whom we all love so much already, will never be a part of ours? He's already their brother in their hearts. God, help us.